7 Habits of Highly Effective People- post no. 2

Paradigm is a scientific term that means a mental image of the way things are. Come from our backgrounds. We see the world as we are... Our "world view" is ourselves projected on the world.

Attitude and behaviior flow from our paradigm (how we see things). How you see something effects how you feel (your attitude) and what you do (your behavior). The quckest way to change a persons behavior is to change their paradigm, the way they see themselves. For instance, becoming a father or mother changes the way people define themselves.
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Effectiveness Is made up of two things: 1) getting what you want and 2) getting what you want in a way that enables you to get it again and again. P (production) and PC (production capabily)balance is necessary. Body, mind, home, spirit all have to do with P/PC balance.

The ultimate P/PC balance is to increase the economic well being and quality of life of all stakeholders. A negative effect on one stakeholder will have a negative effect on other stakeholders.

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Applying effectiveness to relationships... It's like an "emotional bank account." It describes the about of trust, the social capital, thats been built up in relationships. If I have cultivated a pattern of emotional bank accept withdrawals, eventually you get into an overdrawn emotional bank account...even in one fail swoop (I.e. Breaking a basic commitmnt to another), the bank account could be emptied. Many organizations and families are filled with this type of spirit.

The most important deposit is to understand a person from within their frame of reference. if you don't see that, you will not know what deposits are to them. You should understand what the highest deposits and the highest withdrawals.

The moment you make a promise to someone, you create a hope, and they begin to anticipate, but you'd better come through. When it comes to a really important promise, always count the cost before you make it. The anticipation of the event is as satisfying as the event as well. When you come through based on trust, you are beloved.

Another obvious deposit is simple kindness, being courteous. These small deposits build high trust. The little things are the big things in relationships.

Clarifying expectations is a deposit and ambiguous expectations are emotional withdrawals. Relationships can be beautiful at the beginning and then deteriorate because of undefined roles and goals. Who has what responsibility and what are our common goals? Sometimes it's helpful to write it down.

Another important deposit is being loyal to the absent. Being loyal to someone when they are absent as you would when they're present. We should first and foremost be loyal to principles. The most important principle is to be loyal to the absent. If you want to retain the who are present, be loyal to those who are absent. This causes you to moderate your spirit and cultivate humility. This is a tough duty deposit. Always assume that what you're saying about someone they can hear you.

Giving and recieving feedback is a deposit. When you give feed back, send and "I" message rather than a "you" message: "My felling is that....." versus "you did this....." like youre the ultimate judge of that person. The you message is more efficient, but not more effective. Patience and self control are important in these deposits.

Patience and persuasion are important deposits. Patience is an active and dynamic verb which embodies the essence of faith, hope, and charity.

A simple ability to apologize is an important deposit because we all make withdrawals from time to time. To continue to defend and explain is a withdrawal. We constantly need to apologize because we constantly make mistakes.

If we can learn to forgive when we have been offended, be it intentional or unintentional is an extremely important deposit. Far mor damage is done in not forgiving than in the original offense. You must cultivate an inner support of emotional security.

7 Habits of Highly Effective People- post no. 1

A habit is the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. In order to make something a habit in our life, we have to have all three components.

The core of each habit is a principle. A principle is the actual reality of the way things are. Principals are natural laws.

You cannot fake these habits (or true growth or development, for that matter). We are not in control; principles are in control. If we accept that principles ultimately govern and follow them, in a humble sense, we are in control. We control our actions, but principles control the outcome of those actions. Abraham Lincoln said: "People will pass away, but principles live on forever."

If you teach a practice (something to do), always teach the principle which underlies that practice or action. Principles govern, not values. Align our values with principles and only then can you use values and principles interchangeably. It's the same as the old adage: give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.