Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal

Habit 7 is taking the time to sharpen the saw. By renewing the four dimensions of your nature - physical, spiritual, mental and social/emotional, you can work more quickly and effortlessly. To do this, we must be proactive. This is an important, not urgent (Quad. II) activity that must be acted on. It's at the center of our Circle of Influence, so we must do it for ourselves.

The Physical Dimension

• The physical dimension involves caring for your physical body - eating the right foods, getting enough rest and relaxation, and exercising on a regular basis.
• If we don't have a regular exercise program, eventually we will develop health problems. A good program builds your body's endurance, flexibility and strength. A new program should be started gradually, in harmony with the latest research findings.
• The greatest benefit of taking care of yourself is development of your Habit 1 "muscles" of proactivity.

The Spiritual Dimension

• The spiritual dimension is your center, your commitment to your value system. It draws upon the sources that inspire and uplift you and tie you to timeless truths of humanity.
• When we take time to draw on the leadership center of our lives, what life is ultimately all about, it spreads like an umbrella over everything else. 
• This is why a personal mission statement is important.

The Mental Dimension

• It's important keep your mind sharp by reading, writing, organizing and planning. Read broadly and expose yourself to great minds.
• Television is the great obstacle to mental renewal. Most of the programming is a waste of time.
• Every day we should commit at least one hour to renewal in the first three dimensions: physical, mental, and spiritual. 
• This practice is a "Daily Private Victory."

The Social/Emotional Dimension

• The physical, spiritual, and mental dimensions are closely related to Habits 1, 2 and 3: personal vision, leadership and management. The social/emotional dimension focuses on Habits 4, 5 and 6: the principles of personal leadership, empathetic communication and creative cooperation.
• Our emotional life is primarily developed out of and manifested in our relationships with others. Renewing our social/emotional dimension requires focus and exercise in our interaction with others.

Success in Habits 4, 5 and 6 is not primarily a matter of intellect, but emotion; it's highly related to our sense of personal security. Intrinsic security comes from within, from accurate paradigms and correct principles deep in our own mind and heart. It comes from living a life of integrity, in which our daily habits reflect our deepest values.

• There is also intrinsic security that comes as a result of effective interdependent living and from service, from helping other people in a meaningful way. Each day, we can serve another person by making deposits of unconditional love.

Other notable remarks

In the story of the mix up of the "bright" and "slow" students, the teachers of a group of "slow" children erroneously classified as "bright" said, "For some reason, our methods weren't working, so we had to change our methods." The IQ scores of the students dramatically improved. Apparent learning disability was really teacher inflexibility.

Goethe taught, "Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be."

Dag Hammarskjold, past Secretary-General of the United Nations, said, "He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn't reserve a plot for weeds." The law of the harvest governs, we will always reap what we sow--no more, no less.

Moving along the upward spiral requires us to learn, commit and do on increasingly higher planes.

Win/Win

Win/Win is one of six total philosophies of human interaction.

1. Win/Win - People can seek mutual benefit in all human interactions. Principle-based behavior.
2. Win/Lose - The competitive paradigm: if I win, you lose. The leadership style is authoritarian. In relationships, if both people aren't winning, both are losing.
3. Lose/Win - The "Doormat" paradigm. The individual seeks strength from popularity based on acceptance. The leadership style is permissiveness. Living this paradigm can result in psychosomatic illness from repressed resentment.
4. Lose/Lose - When people become obsessed with making the other person lose, even at their own expense. This is the philosophy of adversarial conflict, war, or of highly dependent persons. (If nobody wins, being a loser isn't so bad.)
5. Win - Focusing solely on getting what one wants, regardless of the needs of others.
6. Win/Win or No Deal - If we can't find a mutually beneficial solution, we agree to disagree agreeably - no deal. This approach is most realistic at the beginning of a business relationship or enterprise. In a continuing relationship, it's no longer an option.

The most appropriate model depends on the situation. When relationships are paramount, Win/Win is the only viable alternative. In a competitive situation where building a relationship isn't important, Win/Lose may be appropriate. There are five dimensions of the Win/Win model:

1. Character is the foundation of Win/Win. There must be integrity in order to establish trust in the relationship and to define a win in terms of personal values. A key trait is the abundance mentality that there is plenty for everybody. The abundance mentality flows from a deep inner sense of personal worth and security.
2. Relationships are the focus on Win/Win. Whatever the orientation of the person you are dealing with (Win/Lose, etc.), the relationship is the key to turning the situation around. When there is a relationship of trust and emotional bank account balances are high, there is a much greater probability of a successful, productive interaction. Negative energy focused on differences in personality or position is eliminated; positive, cooperative energy focused on understanding and resolving issues is built.
3. Performance agreements or partnership agreements give definition and direction to Win/Win,. They shift the paradigm of production from vertical (Superior - Subordinate) to horizontal (Partnership/Team). The agreement should include elements to create a standard by which people can measure their own success.
1. Defined results (not methods) - what is to be done and when.
2. Guidelines - the parameters within which the results should be accomplished
3. Resources - human, financial, technical or organizational support available to accomplish the results.
4. Accountability - the standards of performance and time(s) of evaluation.
5. Consequences - what will happen as a result of the evaluation.

The agreement may be written by the employee to the manager to confirm the understanding.

Developing Win/Win performance agreements is the central activity of management, enabling employers to manage themselves within the framework of the agreement. Then the manager can initiate action and resolve obstacles so employees can do their jobs.  There are four kinds of consequences that management or parents can control - Financial, Psychic, Opportunity and Responsibility. In addition to personal consequences, the organizational consequences of behaviors should be identified.

4. The Reward System is a key element in the Win/Win model. Talking Win/Win but rewarding Win/Lose results in negating the Win/Win paradigm. If the outstanding performance of a few is rewarded, the other team members will be losers. Instead, develop individual achievable goals and team objectives to be rewarded.
Competition has its place against market competitors, last year's performance, or another location or individual where cooperation and interdependence aren't required, but cooperation in the workplace is as important to free enterprise as competition in the marketplace. The spirit of Win/Win cannot survive in an environment of competition or contests. All of the company's systems should be based on the principle of Win/Win. The Compensation system of the managers should be based on the productivity and development of their people. Reward both P (production) and PC (production capacity).
5. The Win/Win process has four steps.
1. See the problem from the other point of view, in terms of the needs and concerns of the other party.
2. Identify the key issues and concerns (not positions) involved.
3. Determine what results would make a fully acceptable solution.
4. Identify new options to achieve those results.

You can only achieve Win/Win solutions with Win/Win procedures. Win/Win is not a personality technique. It's a total paradigm of human interaction.

Personal Management

Habit 3 is Personal Management: the exercise of independent will to create a life congruent with your values, goals and mission.   The fourth human endowment, Independent Will, is the ability to make decisions and choices and act upon them.  Integrity is our ability to make and keep commitments to ourselves. Management involves developing the specific application of the ideas. We should lead from the right brain (creatively) and manage from the left brain (analytically).

In order to subordinate your feelings, impulses and moods to your values, you must have a "burning" YES! inside, making it possible to say "No" to other things.  The "Yes" is our purpose, passion, clear sense of direction and value.

Time management is an essential skill for personal management.  The essence of time management is to organize and execute around priorities.  Methods of time management have developed in these stages: 1) notes and checklists - recognizing multiple demands on our time, 2) calendars and appointment books - scheduling events and activities, 3) prioritizing, clarifying values - integrating our daily planning with goal setting.  The downside of this approach is increasing efficiency can reduce the spontaneity and relationships of life.; 4) managing ourselves rather than managing time - focusing in preserving and enhancing relationships and accomplishing results, thus maintaining the P/PC balance (production versus building production capacity, as stated in earlier blog).

Self discipline isn't enough. Without a principle center and a personal mission statement we don't have the necessary foundation to sustain our efforts.

Stewardship Delegation depends on trust, but it takes time and patience. The people may need training and development to acquire the competence to rise to the level of that trust.

Stewardship Delegation requires a clear, up-front mutual understanding of and commitment to expectations in five areas:

1. Desired Results - Have the person see it, describe it, make a quality statement of what the results will look like and by when they will be accomplished.
2. Guidelines - Identify the parameters within which the individual should operate, and what potential "failure paths" might be. Keep the responsibility for results with the person delegated to.
3. Resources - Identify the resources available to accomplish the required results.
4. Accountability - Set standards of performance to be used in evaluating the results and specific times when reporting and evaluation will take place.
5. Consequences - Specify what will happen as a result of the evaluation, including psychic or financial rewards and penalties.

Using Stewardship Delegation, we are developing a goose (to produce golden eggs) based on internal commitment. We must avoid Gofer Delegation to get the golden egg or we kill the goose - the worker reverts to the gofer's credo: "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

7 Habits of Highly Effective People- post no. 2

Paradigm is a scientific term that means a mental image of the way things are. Come from our backgrounds. We see the world as we are... Our "world view" is ourselves projected on the world.

Attitude and behaviior flow from our paradigm (how we see things). How you see something effects how you feel (your attitude) and what you do (your behavior). The quckest way to change a persons behavior is to change their paradigm, the way they see themselves. For instance, becoming a father or mother changes the way people define themselves.
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Effectiveness Is made up of two things: 1) getting what you want and 2) getting what you want in a way that enables you to get it again and again. P (production) and PC (production capabily)balance is necessary. Body, mind, home, spirit all have to do with P/PC balance.

The ultimate P/PC balance is to increase the economic well being and quality of life of all stakeholders. A negative effect on one stakeholder will have a negative effect on other stakeholders.

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Applying effectiveness to relationships... It's like an "emotional bank account." It describes the about of trust, the social capital, thats been built up in relationships. If I have cultivated a pattern of emotional bank accept withdrawals, eventually you get into an overdrawn emotional bank account...even in one fail swoop (I.e. Breaking a basic commitmnt to another), the bank account could be emptied. Many organizations and families are filled with this type of spirit.

The most important deposit is to understand a person from within their frame of reference. if you don't see that, you will not know what deposits are to them. You should understand what the highest deposits and the highest withdrawals.

The moment you make a promise to someone, you create a hope, and they begin to anticipate, but you'd better come through. When it comes to a really important promise, always count the cost before you make it. The anticipation of the event is as satisfying as the event as well. When you come through based on trust, you are beloved.

Another obvious deposit is simple kindness, being courteous. These small deposits build high trust. The little things are the big things in relationships.

Clarifying expectations is a deposit and ambiguous expectations are emotional withdrawals. Relationships can be beautiful at the beginning and then deteriorate because of undefined roles and goals. Who has what responsibility and what are our common goals? Sometimes it's helpful to write it down.

Another important deposit is being loyal to the absent. Being loyal to someone when they are absent as you would when they're present. We should first and foremost be loyal to principles. The most important principle is to be loyal to the absent. If you want to retain the who are present, be loyal to those who are absent. This causes you to moderate your spirit and cultivate humility. This is a tough duty deposit. Always assume that what you're saying about someone they can hear you.

Giving and recieving feedback is a deposit. When you give feed back, send and "I" message rather than a "you" message: "My felling is that....." versus "you did this....." like youre the ultimate judge of that person. The you message is more efficient, but not more effective. Patience and self control are important in these deposits.

Patience and persuasion are important deposits. Patience is an active and dynamic verb which embodies the essence of faith, hope, and charity.

A simple ability to apologize is an important deposit because we all make withdrawals from time to time. To continue to defend and explain is a withdrawal. We constantly need to apologize because we constantly make mistakes.

If we can learn to forgive when we have been offended, be it intentional or unintentional is an extremely important deposit. Far mor damage is done in not forgiving than in the original offense. You must cultivate an inner support of emotional security.

7 Habits of Highly Effective People- post no. 1

A habit is the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. In order to make something a habit in our life, we have to have all three components.

The core of each habit is a principle. A principle is the actual reality of the way things are. Principals are natural laws.

You cannot fake these habits (or true growth or development, for that matter). We are not in control; principles are in control. If we accept that principles ultimately govern and follow them, in a humble sense, we are in control. We control our actions, but principles control the outcome of those actions. Abraham Lincoln said: "People will pass away, but principles live on forever."

If you teach a practice (something to do), always teach the principle which underlies that practice or action. Principles govern, not values. Align our values with principles and only then can you use values and principles interchangeably. It's the same as the old adage: give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.